


Aftermath

by GhostwithShotgun



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Aftermath of the Nogitsune, Fluff and Angst, I suck at tagging, M/M, POV Stiles, post 3b, stiles suffers from ptsd
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-11
Updated: 2015-11-03
Packaged: 2018-04-14 05:59:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 11,831
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4553370
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GhostwithShotgun/pseuds/GhostwithShotgun
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stiles suffers from PTSD and insomnia after the events with the nogitsune. He has nightmares, gets at most one hour of sleep every night and has daily panic attacks. He tries his best to hide it because they all have their own troubles and he doesn't want to burden his friends further.</p><p>Meanwhile, Derek has made a habit out of checking all pack members every night to make sure they're alright.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Beginning

Stiles slipped down against the bathroom wall. He closed his eyes and rested his head against the cool surface. His breath was still shaky and he was covered in sweat. At least it was over for now and he would probably make it to tomorrow afternoon without another attack, if he was lucky. He decided that he was too shaken to take a shower right now, and would do it before school tomorrow. He took a few deep breaths to calm his body down, and then took a bit support from the wall as he stood up. His legs felt a bit wobbly, but he made it to the kitchen and looked at the clock. _11.53 pm._ He rubbed his eyes as he grabbed three Red Bulls from the fridge. He also grabbed an apple on his way back to his room. It would be at least two hours until he could get any sleep, and his stomach would probably start to rumble sooner or later. 

He sat down on his bed and downed the first Red Bull in less than 30 seconds before picking his phone up. He stared at the black screen and considered texting Scott or Lydia about his current state, but then he remembered. _Right. Dead Allison. They both probably have enough to deal with._ It felt strange to not tell Scott about his problems, Scott was his brother after all, but Allison's death had hit him hard. Allison had been his first true love and girlfriend, and Stiles knew that probably felt like having a part of his soul crushed. Of course Stiles was also struck pretty hard by the whole thing. He had liked Allison, and considered her a friend. Stiles had thought of talking to Isaac, too, but figured he was in almost the same situation as Scott. Hell, he had even considered talking to Derek. Once. When he hadn't gotten any sleep for 38 hours. But the dude probably had some aftermath things to do, and he had never been overly fond of Stiles, so he probably wouldn't be much help anyways.

And he had known from the beginning that talking to his dad was completely out of the question. He didn't have to think twice about that. The Sheriff was still trying to take the whole 'wow-supernatural-creatures-actually-exists' thing in. Besides, he already worried way too much about Stiles, and if he knew about the daily panic attacks and nightmares he would probably ditch work and everything to look after Stiles, and that was so not necessary.

He sighed and turned on his laptop. If he was going to be awake, he might as well spend the time on Netflix. He considered a horror movie, but decided against that idea. One attack was enough for tonight, thank you very much. He eventually settled for 'Love Actually'. They were at the end of November, so Christmas movies was socially acceptable again and he needed something uplifting, and he didn't know what that movie was if not uplifting. He leaned his back against his pillows, took a bite of the apple and started the movie.

By the end of the movie, he was smiling. Actually _smiling._ The sensation was welcome, it had been way too long. He decided that he might as well try to sleep now, while he still felt good. He put the laptop down on the floor, pulled the covers up to his chin and snuggled closer to the pillows. He closed his eyes, and replayed his favorite scenes in his head while falling asleep. 

**************

He shot straight up to a sitting position, hyperventilating and sweating. Tonight, the nightmare had been about when they stayed at that creepy, haunted motel a while ago, when they were dealing with the Darach. More exactly when Scott had been trying to set himself on fire. Only this time, it was Stiles trying to talk him into doing it because the Nogitsune was controlling what he did. He had woken up when all his friends caught fire. Stiles hugged his legs as he tried to calm himself down. He glanced over at the clock. _4.14 am._ He was quite impressed by himself. He had gotten 30 minutes more sleep than he had gotten since they got rid of the stupid spirit. He decided that he might as well take that shower now. He wouldn't go back to sleep anyways, one hour and a half was a damn miracle, and he wasn't going to push it and risk another panic attack caused by another nightmare. 

The hot water felt amazing against his skin. He could almost feel the layers of sweat get washed away. He was careful and took his time with the schampo and soap, because he didn't exactly know how strong the scent of sweat was, and how easily werewolves could pick it up. He had a faint idea, sure, but he wanted to make sure. Isaac and Scott were both probably mourning too much to notice, but better safe than sorry. He stepped out of the shower and put on underwear and a pair of sweatpants. He didn't bother with a shirt or drying his hair, letting the water drip down along his upper body. He sat down on the bed and downed his second Red Bull. He basically ran on caffeine, and had made a system for it. During the days, when more people were aware of what he was doing and could worry, he drank coffee because it was easier getting away with ten cups of coffee than ten cans of energy drinks. During the nights he drank energy drinks because they were better at keeping him on his feet. Sometimes, like when he had a test or something, he would combine the two by using energy drinks instead of water in his coffee. The whole thing resulted in his heart speeding around the clock, him being extra jumpy and hyperaware of everything and his hands constantly shaking. It was worth it though. No one thought it was out of the ordinary, and he could keep going even though he didn't sleep nearly enough.

His thoughts were interrupted by a knock on his window. He jumped on his feet, prepared to grab anything to defend himself with. His heart was racing, and then he noticed the familiar, brooding face outside. He exhaled deeply and went to open up.

"Jesus, Derek. Give a guy a warning before showing up outside his room at 4 am." he sighed, not even bothering to try hiding that he just go scared out of his wits. Then he realised what he had just said.

"What _are_ you doing outside my room at 4 am?" he asked, a bit suspicious. He was fairly certain Derek wasn't going to kill him, but still. Derek just rolled his eyes and sat down on Stiles' bed.

"I'm just checking on everyone to make sure they're not in danger. I noticed that you were up and that your room reeks of panic. What is it?" Derek answered, and Stiles didn't really know how to react. Firstly, how ad he not thought about his room smelling of panic? That was very obvious now that someone had pointed it out. Secondly, Derek was showing off a caring side now? Where had that come from? Sure, Derek cared a bit about Scott. They all knew that. But Stiles? That was new.

"It's just nightmares. I'm pretty sure those are a normal reaction to everything that happened." he replied, with a slight lie. Yes, he had nightmares, but not _just_ nightmares, but he hadn't told anyone about that and would keep it that way. Having a group of friends where the majority were werewolves meant that he had learned how to control his heart rate. Derek didn't look completely convinced, but he obviously couldn't say for sure Stiles was lying, either.

"You sure? It _reeks_ in here, and you look more tired than you would do if it were just nightmares. And every night I've come by here your heart's been racing faster than I've ever heard it do." Derek said, trying to press Stiles for a better answer, apparently.

"Okay. It's super-extreme nightmares and I might be slightly sleep deprived and running only on caffeine, but other than that I'm fine... Wait, you've been creeping outside my window _more nights than this one?_ No, don't answer that." Stiles rambled. It felt strangely comforting to know that Derek were checking on them all frequently to make sure they were safe, but he was also afraid of what Derek might have seen. What if he had seen Stiles having one of his attacks? If he had, Stiles had to make sure he wouldn't tell anyone else. Derek seemed to notice Stiles' even more racing heart.

"Calm down. I haven't seen much. Every time you've either studied, watched a movie or been asleep. I don't stay for longer than necessary." Derek said in an attempt to reassure Stiles. It worked. Stiles calmed down a bit and sat down by his desk.

"Okay. But please, if I'm awake when you pass here on your creeping round, just knock or something to let me know that you're outside my bedroom. It's way to stalker-ish to just stare at me without my knowledge." he said, finally regaining his usual, sassy tone. Derek rolled his eyes again, but nodded. Stiles decided to call that a win. Then Derek stood up again.

"I should get going. I still need to check on Kira and Lydia." he announced, and then he was out of the window before Stiles could reply. It was when the cold night-air hit him, he realized he was still shirtless. He found a Star Wars-tee and as he put it on he decided to leave the window open to air his room out a bit. If Derek said it reeked, it would probably not be long until Scott would actually notice.

He moved back to his bed to watch another movie, and for some reason he felt safer than he had done in weeks. He figured it had something to do with Derek still functioning like normal and keeping an eye on them all while they were all recovering. Just then Stiles realized that it was probably because Derek already knew how to handle loss. He had lost his whole family except for Peter and Cora in that fire. Stiles felt a sudden pang of compassion and sympathy for Derek. The guy had been through hell, but he still hadn't turned into a murder machinge, he still wanted to help. He knew that they all would need some time to get back to normal, and took care of the business of keeping an eye out for danger for them to give them that time. Stiles decided to try to cut down on the jokes about Derek being creepy and broody. 

Then he decided that he needed to get a grip. He was actually _feeling bad for and sympathizing_ with Derek Hale. If that wasn't proof of just how sleep deprived he was, he didnät know what was.


	2. Busted!

Stiles stood up and stretched. It was time for him to get ready for school. It had been about a week since he found out about Derek's nightly activities, and Derek had stopped by to say hi four times since then. He had gone back to normal with less than one hour of sleep every night and at least two attacks every day. His mind apparently thought it was more than enough that he had had one night to recover a bit. They were now in the beginning of December, so his friends had started to show a bit of Christmas spirit. He tried his best to act like normal, because he didn't want to ruin that for them. They had been through enough. He had even begun to use concealer to cover up the almost black circles under his eyes, because if Derek had noticed it wouldn't be long until at least Lydia did. He knew people would mock him if they knew he used makeup, but he really couldn't care less. It stopped the people he cared about from noticing something was wrong, and that was all he could ask for right now.

He picked up a pair of jeans from the floor, found a clean tee and his red hoodie. He got dressed and moved on to the bathroom. He splashed some water in his face, carefully put his makeup on and put on a fake smile, just to check that he could still do it. He could. Satisfied, he went downstairs and into the kitchen, where his dad had apparently made pancakes before leaving for work. Stiles smiled a bit at the note that said he was sorry that he had to leave so early and that he was going to be late because he had loads of paper work. 

His body wasn't really down for it, but Stiles forced himself to eat four pancakes. Then he downed a huge cup of coffee mixed with Monster to really get himself going. Then he quickly brushed his teeth and went outside. The chilly air made him feel a bit more energized, and he decided that he could at least hope for a good day. He got in his jeep and drove off to school, actually looking slightly forward to meet his friends.

**************

His hope had been completly unnecessary. He actually had to as smoothly as possible excuse himself from the others during lunch because he had another attack. It wasn't often he had one in school, it happened at home most of the time. He tried to snap back as quickly as possible, and after less than five minutes he had pulled himself together enough to stand up and wash away as much of the sweat as possible, and then re-cover his circles for a bit, and then he was back with the others and they didn't seem to suspect anything. _Mission accomplished._

They were busy planning a Christmas dinner with the pack. Stiles would love to go to it, but he wasn't sure how he would manage a whole night without breaking down and destroying all his hard work to keep his mental state a secret. Maybe he could show up for an hour or two and then say he had a killer headache and go home. Either way, he still needed to get them all presents. He didn't know when he would have enough energy to, though. He decided to try today since his dad would be late anyways and he needed something to focus on that wasn't school or how tired he was. _My afternoon's sorted then._

**************

"Jesus. How hard can it be to find something for two girls?" Stiles muttered to himself. He already had Scott sorted (he had found a collection of all the Star Wars movies. He would be damned if he didn't force Scott to watch them soon), and now he tried to find something for Lydia and Kira. He would have gone for clothes, but he didn't know what sizes they had, and if it was something he knew about girls, it was that everything had to fit great except for lazy day-outfits. But with their lifestyles, they didn't have any lazy days anymore. He had learned that Kira was just as geeky as himself, only she hid it better, so he would try to find something for her based on that fact. 

He finally settled for a collection with all the mvies with The Avengers, both their separate ones and the ones where they're allt together. Maybe he should make movie collections the theme this year. Then he thought about Isaac and Lydia and decided against that. He moved on to Isaac, because he had finally figured out what to get for him. He walked straight for the closest clothing store. The great thing about Isaac's scarves was that Stiles didn't need to know a size to buy some. Therefore, this year Isaac's Christmas present would be a collection of five scarves, and Stiles would have the theme 'Collections' for the presents this year. Now he just had to figure out what kind of collection to get for Lydia, and if he should get Derek something. Derek was a part of the pack after all, and he had started to show that he cared for Stiles and was the only one who had noticed that Stiles wasn't doing too well. But on the other hand, what would he get for Derek? And did Derek even want something? He decided to just ask Derek if he got the chance, and if he didn't he would get something anyways if he found something, but he wouldn't go searching for something.

The thought of what he would get for Allison even crossed his mind, before he remembered that she was gone. A pang of sadness and guilt hit him. He quickly surpressed it before it would become worse and tried to focus on the task at hand: finding a collection of some sort for Lydia. He mindlessly wandered around for a while, before deciding on makeup. _Or perfume. Yeah, I'll go with perfume._

He found a shelf filled with perfumes from Victoria's Secret. He spent a good while smelling them all and deciding on which five smelled the best. Before going to pay, he also got some more concealer for himself. If he was going to continue with his messed up sleep schedule, he would probably soon run out of it. 

When he had payed, he walked out to his jeep to go shopping for food, because his dad wouldn't remember to do it. He got mostly fruit, vegetables and pasta and then he finally went back home. He unpacked the food, and then begun to wrap the presents. The longer he could keep his mind focused on something non-stressful, the better. Unfortunately, though, he was a master-wrapper and within forty minutes he had four perfectly wrapped presents. He had no homework, either, and he wouldn't need to start making food for two more hours, so he had absolutely nothing to do. He knew very well what was coming, and after ten minutes he felt the familiar feeling of something tightening around his chest. He went for the bathroom and tried to splash some water on his face. It didn't work at all and it got harder and harder to breathe. He could feel sweat starting to take form on his back and face, and he was trembling. He tried his best to breathe properly, but failed. He then tried to hold his breath while gripping the sink tightly. It worked better, and soon he felt the tight feeling around his chest loosen a bit. He took a few deep breaths to make sure it was over for now. Then he let go of the sink to sit down on the floor while waiting for his limbs to recover. He sat still for ten minutes, and then he forced himself to get up.

He made dinner for himself and his dad, but had to eat alone because the Sheriff had to stay longer than expected. Stiles spent the night watching Game of Thrones, and then he fell asleep at midnight, exhausted after the long day.

*************

He woke up with his heart beating hard in panic. He almost fell out of his bed when he tried to get up to run to the bathroom. He collapsed on all four on the middle of the floor. He couldn't breathe at all. He couldn't get any air. He panicked even more, at the same time as he tried to collect himself. It was just a panic attack. He'd had hundreds of them in the past, he should be able to handle them by now. The edges of his sight was getting fuzzy and dark, and he was shaking so hard he could barely stay up. Then he felt someone gripping his shoulders, making him sit upright. He saw a face looking at him with concern, and heard the same person shout his name. He couldn't make out much else the person said, he couldn't even remember the person. But he knew him. Then he remembered. _Derek._ Derek was there, shouting his name along with something else. Stiles tried to focus enough to make out the words, and soon he could.

"Stiles, calm down. Deep breaths. Come on, breathe." he tried to nod to show Derek that he understood. Then he tried to do what Derek told him to. The squeezing feeling around his chest got worse, but now he could force himself to breathe, get oxygen into his lungs. 

"Good. Keep going. Breathe together with me." Derek said, and evened his breathing out to a calm rythm. Stiles tried to match it, and soon he regained control. Derek kept the breathing up until Stiles relaxed and rested his head against the edge of his bed. Then Derek let go of his shoulders, stood up and left the room. Stiles watched Derek close the bedroom door and then he closed his eyes. Shit. Derek had seen him have an attack. He sighed heavily and waited for Derek's return, and the doom that would come along with it. 

But it didn't come. When Derek returned, he carried a glass of water and, strangely enough, a bowl with ice cream in it. He put the stuff down on the table by Stiles' bedside, and then he helped Stiles get up in the bed, all without saying a word. When Stiles sat comfortably with his back resting against the wall, Derek handed him the water and ice cream and then sat right across from him, waiting patiently. When Stiles had finished the water, Derek finally spoke.

"I'm not buying the crap about 'just having trouble sleeping' anymore. Tell me what's really going on." he said, not unkindly (unlike most of the time), but not leaving room for arguments, either. Stiles ate a spoonful of ice cream before answering.

"Fine. I have panic attacks on a daily basis, often more than once. And I do have nightmares too, every night, and I try to avoid sleeping too much because of that. I get at most one hour of sleep every night, because I can't fall asleep again when the dreams wake me up. And sometimes, like tonight, they cause panic attacks. Good enough answer?" he asked with a bleak version of his usual sarcasm. He didn't want to show Derek just how weak he was, but he was still pretty shaken. Derek nodded.

"Yeah. Why haven't you told anyone?" he asked, and his eyes told Stiles he already suspected the answer. But he decided to answer anyways.

"Everyone's having other things to cope with, mostly Allison's death. I don't want to burden them further." he said quetly, looking down at the ice cream. It was chocolate. He waited for Derek to tell him how utterly stupid he was, and that if Stiles didn't tell the rest he would. But no.

"Alright. But I'm not having as much to cope with as the rest. You could've told me. Does your dad know?" Derek said, and Stiles looked up in surprise. Did Derek really just offer him his support?

"No, and I don't want him to. I'd rather tell the others. He's already worrying about me constantly, and if I told him he would ditch work and everything just to always keep an eye on me, and I don't want to do that to him." Stiles said, trying to sound determined. He didn't seem to need to, though, because Derek nodded in a sort of understanding way.

"I get it. I'll stay quiet about it. But if you get worse, I'll tell the pack, just so they can help you during the days. You've been through a lot and I wouldn't expect anyone to react differently to it. But I'll keep you company during the nights from now on. If something like this happens again, I want to be here." Derek said, and Stiles knew by the look in his eyes that it was no point in trying to argue. He nodded shortly and the focused on the ice cream while Derek took his shoes off. Stiles glanced up at him briefly. It felt strangely good to have Derek here, and knowing that Derek would help him out if needed.

He put the empty bowl down on the table and reached for his computer, but Derek snatched it out of his reach with a stern look.

"If you're going to recover, the first step is to start sleeping again." he said, and Stiles could feel himself grow paler.

"I can't. The nightmares... I can't stand them." he said, and he couldn't hide all the panic in his voice. Derek put a calming hand on his shoulder.

"I will notice if you start to dream and wake you up before it gets too bad. You need to face this. You can't continue you whole life with just one hour of sleep every night." Derek pointed out, and Stiles knew he was right so he nodded. He sank down into the bed, and since there was no other place for Derek, he lay down next to Stiles. Stiles was literally too tired to care about how absurd the situation was. He closed his eyes, and realized he did feel much safer knowing that Derek was next to him. It didn't take long for him to fall asleep for the second time that night.


	3. Getting Better...?

Stiles woke up, and for once it wasn't because of panic caused by a nightmare. He turned his head a bit, and saw Derek sleeping peacefully next to him. Then he realized that the sun was shining in through his window, which meant that he had slept for _hours._ Then he relized that something had woken him up, and it wasn't his alarm clock because it was a Saturday. A cold feeling swept in through his stomach as he made a conclusion. He cautiously turned his head towards his bedroom door, and yes. Of course. His dad stood there, looking questionly at him. _Crap. Gotta think of a lie fast._

He shook Derek's shoulder lightly. The werewolf grunted a bit, sat up with a tiny bit of drool on his cheek and rubbed his eyes. He opened one of his eyes to look at Stiles.

"Hm?" Derek questioned, and Stiles did his best to ignore how adorable Derek was right at this moment. This was not the right time to think about how cute Derek Hale looked when he had just woken up in Stiles' bed. Stiles nodded towards the door, and when Derek realized what Stiles meant he seemed to wake up properly in like 0.0000012 seconds. His dad continued to look at Stiles with his eyebrows raised to show that he expected an explaination, and that it would need to be a good one. Stiles decided to go with the first one that popped into his head.

"We had a movie night." he said, and his dad looked at him doubtingly.

"A movie night?" he asked, and Stiles tried to come up with something realistsic.

"Yeah. The girls were going to have a sleepover or something, so Scott wanted us to do something too. Scott had to go get something for Kira and didn't return, and then Isaac left right after the movie. Derek fell asleep during it, and I didn't want to wake him up because I had no idea how he would take that, and I don't feel like having my throath ripped out just yet." he tried, and his dad looked like he was starting to think that it might have happened but wasn't convinced. Stiles had no idea what to say now. Thankfully, he didn't have to.

"I couldn't help it, Isaac made us watch such a sappy Christmas movie. I can't stay awake while watching that. What was it called?" Derek said, the last part was meant for Stiles. Stiles had never been so thankful for Derek Hale. Or maybe, because he had saved his life a few times, but that didn't count.

"Love Actually." Stiles said, as that was the first one that came to mind. His dad looked like he doubted the story again.

"Father, you have no right to judge us. After everything I think we're allowed to watch the cheesiest of Christmas movies on one of our nights off." he said with a slightly sarcastic tone, and his dad nodded, finally buying it. 

"Alright. I have to go to work now anyways. I made waffles. You're welcome to stay over for breakfast too, Derek." he said and turned his back to them as he walked away.

"Thanks, dad!" Stiles shouted after him, and then he fell back into the pillows with a groan. When he looked up again, Derek was glancing down at him with an amused look.

"What?" Stiles asked with a sigh.

"You're a terrible liar. You're lucky I was here to contribute to the story." he said and Stiles rolled his eyes.

**************

Stiles got dressed while Derek went downstairs. It was a Saturday after all, so he decided on sweats and a tee. He walked downstairs, and saw Derek sitting down at the kitchen table, still looking about a million times more adorable than usual. Apparently, it took at least an hour for Derek to get his grumpy face on. Stiles sat down and put two waffles on his plate while Derek stared at him.

"What!?" Stiles finally said, and Derek shook his head, as if he had just been shaken awake from a daydream.

"Nothing. Just noticed how sick you look. You've never been this thin, and without your makeup it's easier to notice how pale and tired you are." Derek said with a shrug, and Stiles stared unbelievingly at him. Derek snorted.

"You know makeup smells, right?" was all he said and it ws Stiles' turn to shrug. They ate in silence, and then made their way back to Stiles' room. Derek was putting his boots back on, and Stiles tried desperatley to think of something to say.

"Well... Thanks." he finally said, and Derek glanced at him with one eyebrow raised, before returning his look to his boot.

"For not telling my dad, and for helping me get some sleep. I feel like a thousand times better already." he continued, and Derek stood up and grabbed his leather jacket from Stiles' chair.

"I'm just looking out for my pack. It's nothing to thank me for. I'll be back tonight." he said and walked towards the window, then he turned around with a smirk.

"I'll try to be more observant. I'm not sure your dad will buy another one of your lies." he said and before Stiles could reply, he was gone. Stiles sank down onto his bed again, smiling. He was really liking this side of Derek, and he was sure today would be great. Then he groaned. _Shit. Now I totally need to get Derek something for Christmas._

**************

Stiles was in the middle of watching the first season of Avatar: The Last Airbender, when he was surprised by Scott climbing through his window, carrying pizzas, and Isaac following him, carrying plastic bags filled to their braking point with edible things. When Stiles raised his eyebrows, Scott simply pulled his phone out, showing a text from Derek.

**Do me a favor and be with Stiles today. He could use some company and I'm busy.**

_Great, Derek. Very discreet. They will absolutely not think we're either a couple or that I'm feeling like the lonliest person ever._ But Stiles just shrugged it off, knowing that Derek was just trying to keep him busy during the day to prevent another attack. It was actually sort of sweet, even though he would never say those words out loud. Scott put the phone back down and handed Stiles one of the pizzas before sitting down on his left side. Isaac put the two bags down on the floor, sat down on Stiles' right and took his pizza from Scott.

"What are you watching?" Scott asked, and Stiles snickered. If Scott looked, he would know. 

"Avatar." he answered anyways while putting the computer a bit further away, so they could all see better.

"Cool. It's been a while since I watched that." Isaac said. They watched under a comfortable silence while eating. For the first time in what felt like forever, the food didn't taste like cardboard to Stiles, and he enjoyed every single moment of it. Maybe he was actually getting better. He really had to thank Derek.

Then he realized that Derek knew exactly what he needed. He had known exactly how to get Stiles to breathe again, and he had never had to deal with one of Stiles' attacks before. He knew that Stiles would want something to eat or drink when he relaxed again. He had known that to sleep Stiles would need company. He understood why Stiles didn't want anyone to know and even helped him to avoid telling his dad. He knew that Stiles would want some company. Derek didn't just sympathize with him, he _knew_ what Stiles was going through. Everything pointed towards Derek knowing this from experience, probably from the fire. Derek had been through this too, and he had been alone. He had watched his whole family burn to death except for Peter, Laura and Cora. He probably had to make it through the PTSD mostly by himself, and now he was doing for Stiles what he had needed someone to do for him. Stiles had never felt this sad for someone and apparently it showed, because Scott looked at him with a concerned face.

"You okay?" he asked, and Stiles nodded, pulling himself out of his depressing thoughts.

"Yeah. My mind just wandered for a bit." he said with a slight smile. And it was true, he was okay. Better than okay. For the first time in weeks, he felt like maybe he could recover. Maybe he could get better. Maybe he would look back at this in a few years, and remember the pain but being able to say that he pulled through. That he made it. Scott nodded with a smile, put an arm around Stiles' shoulders and they continued to watch Avatar the whole afternnon, making it through the contents of the plastic bags.

**************

Of course his good mood wouldn't last. It was around 11 pm, and his dad had gone to bed maybe half an hour or so ago. Derek still hadn't returned, and Stiles had drifted off a bit. Not really sleping, but he still had lost control of his thoughts, and relived that night when he had sleepwalked in the freezing cold, thinking he was trapped somewhere by the Nogitsune and he had managed to call Scott. He woke up when the familiar feeling of panic squeezed the breath out of him. He managed to get to the bathroom, but his mind was still all over the place, and for some reason he couldn't really bring himself to focus on breathing. He gripped the sink tightly and bent down. He closed his eyes in an attempt to make it easier to focus, but it didn't work as well as he wanted. He felt the sweat appearing, felt the sink slipping out of his grip...

Somone caught him before he fell to the floor. He was being manhandled to the wall. He opened his eyes and saw Derek kneeling in front of him.

"Stiles, focus. Breathe with me." he said and Stiles did just that. The attack wasn't as bad as the one he had last night, so it was over shortly. When he was breathing normally, Derek pulled him on his feet and helped him get to the bed. He left Stiles, only to come back a few minutes later with a glass of water and an apple. Stiles gladly accepted them, and neither or them said anything. 

When Stiles put the glass down, he could feel himself almost falling asleep. His head lolled to the side a bit, and rested against Derek's shoulder. Derek drew calmong patterns on Stiles' back with his finger, and Stiles really couldn't help but fall asleep. His last conscious thought went to promising himself to remember to always be grateful for Derek.


	4. Christmas!

Stiles went to get a chair in the kitchen, only the star at the top of the tree left. It was the day of the Christmas dinner, and they were having it at his house. He was confident he could make it through the night without having an attack. He was better now, and only had attacks up to four times every week. He still had nightmares, but they were not vivid enough to cause attacks. Most of the time he simply woke up, went to get something to drink and then fell asleep again. Derek still slept in his bed, and if he noticed the dream was getting too much, he would wake Stiles up and help him calm down if needed. The others didn't know about it though, because even if he had gotten better, he still didn't want them to worry. Overall, he felt almost completely back to normal.

He pulled the chair closer to the tree and then stood on it. He carefully put the star on, and managed not to make the tree fall. Stiles stepped down from the chair to stand back and check his work. When he was a kid, their tree had been mostly covered in stuff he made himself, but when his mum died, they couldn't really force themselves to use those, so now they used actual decorations instead. He had used tinsel in gold and red, some lights, bulbs in different sizes and in either red or gold or both, and then a golden star on the top. The whole tree had a warm and cozy feeling about it. He decided that he was pleased with his creation, and ran upstairs to get the presents he had bought to put them under it. He had gone looking for a present for Derek, and it was way harder than he had expected. He hadn't been able to think of one thing he could possibly give to Derek. He had finally decided to keep up his theme by buying a small collection of sappy Christmas movies, as a sort of inside joke. He had also decided to get a more serious gift, because he wanted to let Derek know how grateful he was. He had had a really hard time deciding on the serious gift, but then he decided to get a simple bracelet made out of steel with a triskele engraved on it. It was really the best he could think of.

It was another two hours before the pack would arrive, so Stiles decided to take a quick shower before starting to cook. He used really hot water and was out of there in ten minutes. He put on simple, black jeans and a green Cristmas sweater. It wasn't one of the really ugly ones, it was just very cozy. He went to the kitchen to start cooking. They had decided on a three course dinner, and while Isaac (who was surprisingly good in the kitchen) took care of the starter and Lydia the dessert, it had fallen onto Stiles to make the main course. The only thing they had agreed on was that they didn't want a traditional Christmas dinner, with traditional food, so they all decided for themselves what they wanted to make. He had decided to just make a simple Quiche Lorraine and some basic sallad, because it was easy enough that he knew for sure he would be able to pull it off, and it was one of his personal favorites. 

When it was just about half an hour before the pack was said to arrive, the doorbell rang. Stiles had pulled the sleeves of his sweater up to his elbows to not get it dirty, and he grabbed a towel to wipe his hands as he wlked to open the door. He was surprised to find Derek there.

"Wow, you've finally learned how to use a front door? Come in." he said with a grin and moved out of the way. He thought he saw Derek's gaze lingering a bit on his forearms, but it was over quickly so he decided it was just his eyes playing tricks on him. Derek stepped inside, carrying a plastic bag with shapes Stiles recognized as Christmas presents.

"Your present's upstairs, I don't think you'd like the others to see it. I took the liberty to leave it there before coming in here." Derek said with a slight smirk. Stiles shook his head and laughed.

"Of course you did. Go get yours from under the tree, it'll just look weird if I give you one in front of the others." Stiles said and sent Derek towards the living room with a slight puff on his shoulders before returning to the kitchen to take a look at the pie.

"And put the ones in the bag there too!" he shouted. He started to chop up vegetables for the sallad with Christmas music playing in the background. He contently hummed along and almost didn't notice Derek coming into the room.

"Smells good." Derek commented as he sat down on a chair.

"Did you expect anything else? I'm a pro." Stiles grinned and he saw the corners of Derek's mouth tugging up a bit. 

"It's good to see you like this. Never thought I'd miss you energy, but it's great that it's back." Derek said quietly, as if he was unsure about if he wanted Stiles to hear that. But Stiles did and smiled widely.

"Well, I can't take all the credit. Thanks again for helping me out." he replied, and got an actual smile out of Derek.

"Helping you out with what?" a voice said. Stiles turned around, only to see Isaac leaning against the doorframe. On one arm, he carried a bag with presents, and the other carried a big box, with what Stiles assumed was the starter. He quickly decided on which lie to go with.

"Deciding what I should make tonight." he said, and out of the corner of his eyes he saw Derek making an almost unnoticeable impressed expression. Isaac nodded and peeked into the oven.

"Seems good." he commented and Stiles turned back to his vegetables.

"Put the food down and put the presents under the tree." Stiles said, and Isaac did just that. When he returned, he put the food into the fridge and sat down to talk to Derek. Lydia and Kira arrived soon after, together, and Scott showed up just as the clock hit 6 pm. When he saw that everyone was there already, he quickly mumbled an excuse and went to put his presents down. While he did that, Stiles and Isaac worked together to get plates and Isaac's food on the table. Isaac had made some sort of delicious soup and homemade garlic bread (at least Isaac said it was homemade when Kira asked). It was so good Stiles feared he might have gotten competition about who should have the title as the best cook. 

They decided to open their presents before the main course, so they all moved on into the living room. They sat down, scattered across the floor. They decided that Kira should be given the honor of playing Santa, as she was their newest member. And she did a good job, or at least better than what Stiles would have, because he would have begun with all his presents in a row but she didn't. She simply grabbed random presents and handed them out.

Soon, everything was handed out and Stiles had four presents in front of him, knowing that the fifth was waiting upstairs. No one wanted to be the one to start unwrapping, but Stiles decided that he might as well do it. As he picked up the one he'd gotten from Kira, the rest of them got started too. When Stiles got all the paper off, he saw that Kira had gotten him a limited edition Batman comic. One that he had wanted for a pretty long time, but hadn't been able to buy.

"Kira, I love you." he said and marvelled at the sight before him. She just laughed happily.

"You're not that bad, either." she said, and when he looked up he saw her looking at the movies he had bought her. He moved on to the next one, which was the one from Isaac. Inside, he found a few graphic tees (which were all awesome), three plaid shirt and a new hoodie. All of them very much apprechiated because one could never have too many tees, shirts or hoodies. From Lydia he (unsurprisingly) got a few lore books, but he needed that so he was very happy with them, and from Scott he got a new game for his Xbox. He loved all of it. His friends were literally the best. He couldn't help but wonder what Derek had gotten him that he couldn't show the others. It was something worthy of his curiosity. 

His friends seemed happy with what he had gotten them too. Lydia was smelling the perfumes with an appreciative look on her face, Isaac was occupied with folding the scarves carefully after taking a better look at them, and Scott rolled his eyes with a smile before pulling Stiles into a bro-hug. Then Stiles left his friends to tke care of the trash while he prepared the main course.

While they ate they were all happily discussing almost everything. They talked about superheroes, then moved on to tell Kira funny stories about the time before she moved to Beacon Hills. Derek stayed mostly quiet, but he did contribute with a joke, comment or reminder sometimes. Stiles felt better than he had in more than six months or something like that. It felt as if none of the bad things ever happened. He could feel Allison's absence and really wished she had been there too. He knew the others felt the same as him, so he decided not to mention it. That would totally ruin the moment. After eating, they decided to watch a movie before moving on to the dessert. They all agreed to watch a Christmas movie, anything else was unacceptable, but they couldn't decide which one. Eventually, Stiles and Lydia ended up both wanting to watch Love Actually (seriously, Stiles was overly obsessed with that movie this year) and since that was the only movie that got two votes, they ended up watching it. Stiles would have been happy watching Nightmare Before Christmas too, as Kira suggested, but he figured he had to fight for his movie. 

By the end of it, Stiles, Kira and Lydia were all smiling like idiots, Scott looked a bit moody (Stiles didn't blame him), Isaac was obviously trying hard not to do like Stiles and the girls, and Derek was half asleep. _Wow, the lie I told dad could really have been true._ Stiles sat closest to Derek, actually leaning slightly on him, so he shook his shoulder lightly to wake him up. They shuffled towards the kitchen, where Stiles placed some more plates out while Lydia took the dessert out of the fridge. She had made cheesecake with a topping made out of tropical fruit. 

Apparently they were all getting tried, and they didn't talk as much this time around. Stiles decided that Lydia really could work magic in the kitchen, because the cheesecake was _amazing._ When they were done, Kira helped Stiles with the dishes and then the pack started to drop out one by one. After a while, only Stiles and Derek were left. Stiles motioned towards the stairs, suggesting that they go to his room. Derek took the lead and Stiles followed him closely. 

When he entered his room, the first thing he noticed was a huge pile of pillows. They had all sizes, and took up almost half of his bed. Then he notived a big, wrapped present. He moved to sit on the bed, while Derek sat down on the floor with his own present. Stiles unwrapped the present, opened the box and found a lot of stuff in it. He picked them all up one by one. There were two CDs (which Stiles suspected Derek had mad himself), one with calming music and one with uplifting. There were a few movies, comedies, pencils and a book made to draw things to calm down. There was some calming tea, blankets and scented candles. Right in the bottom, there was a book, too. _Dealing with PTSD._

Stiles looked at Derek, not really believing that Derek had actually gotten him all this. Derek shrugged.

"Who knows when you might need it. Now you've got it just in case." he said and Stiles had to stop himself from hugging Derek.

"Thanks, Derek. I mean it. This is amazing. Sorry about my crappy gift for you. I could literally think of nothing." he said and Derek shook his head.

"It's not crappy at all. It's great." he said as he put the bracelet on. Then he took his shoes off, and went to the small part of Stiles' wardrobe that was reserved for his clothes and pulled out sweats and a tank.

"Don't think I didn't notice you yawning downstairs. Time for bed." he said with a tug at the corners of his mouth. Stiles realized how strange it was that things had escalated so quickly that Derek had a part of Stiles' wardrobe _reserved for his own clothes._ Then he quickly decided not to dwell on it. If he went down that path, he would find a lot of things that was the complete opposite of what he had ever expected with Derek.

They got inot bed, and when Derek snuggled a bit closer to him Stiles relaxed. He got hit by a wave of tiredness, and let sleep take him.


	5. Nightly Activities

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this fic didn't turn out to be superlong (sorry), but at first I only planned it as a oneshot, so it's longer than it was planned at least. Thanks for reading xx  
> Enjoy! ^^

Stiles glanced at the clock. _2.03 am._ He sighed and decided to flip through one of the books he got from Lydia to see what they had gotten right about werewolves. He wasn't tired at all. It was now February, and he was back to normal completely. Of course he still had nightmares sometimes, but now he could manage them by himself. And that meant that it was three weeks since Derek had stayed over. Stiles hated to admit it, but he missed the grumpy werewolf. It had been nice to fall asleep next to someone every night and now that he didn't have it anymore, he missed it very much. Derek still had clothes left in Stiles' wardrobe, and Stiles had considered a lot of times to put them in a bag and drive to Derek's loft to leave them, but he had decided on not doing that every time. If Derek wanted them back, Stiles was sure he would just come and get them. He probably just left them in case Stiles would get bad again. 

He put the book back down and flopped down on the bed instead. He couldn't focus at all. He put on the CD with Derek's uplifting music just so he would have something in the background. His dad worked the nightshift anyways. He picked up his phone and considered texting Scott, and then he remembered what time it was and put it back down. Tonight was going to be a long night.

When the clock hit 3 am, and Stiles hadn't done anything, he decided to go downstairs and get something to eat. Well in the kitchen, he decided that he would be awake for a long time, so he got out a recipe on chocolate cupcakes. He put on one of his playlists on Spotify and started the search for ingredients. Soon he was mixing eggs and suger while singing along to Twenty One Pilots.

When he put the cupckaes in the oven half an hour later, he sat down at the table with the bowl, intending to eat what was left in it. When he had finished half of it, he felt like he was being watched. He slowly turned around, and saw Derek standing there, just leaning against the doorframe with a smirk. Stiles almost threw the bowl on him.

"Jesus! Are you back to stalking now?" he said, as that was what he could think of. Derek shook his head.

"No. I heard that you were awake, and thought I might see what you're up to when you weren't in your room. Baking, Stiles, at 3.30 am? Really?" Derek asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Well, I couldn't sleep." Stiles replied with a shrug before eating a spoonfull of cupcake batter. A dark and concerned look flew over Derek's face.

"Are you..." he begun, but Stiles knew exactly what he was going to say and cut him off.

"I'm fine, Derek. I'm just not tired for some reason, that's all." he said, and Derek looked relieved. 

"Good." he said as he sat down. Stiles could see the bracelet on Derek's wrist. Now that he thought about it, everytime he had seen Derek since Christmas (which was quite a lot even though they didn't share a bed anymore) he had worn the bracelet. Stiles felt quite pleased with that.

"How long does the cupcakes have to be in the oven?" Derek asked.

"Until... Right now." Stiles said as he looked at the clock. He put the bowl down, and it's content that he still hadn't eaten all of, and went to take the cupckaes out. A wave of hot air blew up in his face as he opened it, and then he grabbed the baking tray and put it down next to the sink. He turned the oven off, and when he turned back around to face Derej, said werewolf had grabbed the bowl, and had some chocolatey batter by the corner of his mouth. Stiles felt almost betrayed.

"I wasn't done with that!" he exclaimed, and Derek smirked.

"Well, you put it down. And You've eaten almost all of it anyways." he argued and Stiles went over to him and grabbed the bowl with an exaggerated pout.

"Because _I_ made it. You can go grab a cupcake when they've cooled for a bit." he said, and hope that he left no room for arguments. Derek stared at him, baffeled.

"Since when do you grab stuff right from my hands?" he asked and Stiles huffed out a laugh.

"Since you spent something like three months sleeping in my bed to help me with my nightmares and helped me out with anxiety and panic attacks." he said, and kept his tone as friendly as possible. At that, Derek looked down.

"Actually, that reminds me of why I even stopped by here to see if you were up." he mumbled, still not looking. Stiles felt a bit cold at that.

"Right. Of course. You're clothes are exactly where you left them, so you can just pick them up and continue with your werewolf-business." he said before Derek could beat him to it. Derek did actually look up now, and Stiles might be hallucinating, but he thought he saw a slight frown on Derek's face, barely there.

"No, that's not why I came." he said, and Stiles was genuinley surprised. Now he was really curious about what the reason was.

"What is it then?" he asked, and Derek seemed to struggle with how he should continue.

"I..." he begun, but then stopped. "I've... missed you." he finally got out, and Stiles was confused. Apparently, Derek saw that because he looked like he started to think of how he could explain. Stiles didn't really know what to say for once, so he let Derek take his time.

"It's been nice to... stay here overnight. I didn't realize how lonely I was before, but now that I've grown used to having you next to me, I have." he said quietly, obvioulsy feeling awkward. Stiles simply smiled.

"Missed you too, Sourwolf." he said and got up from his chair. He walked over to the cupcakes, and bit into one when he knew they were cool enough. Derek followed him and grabbed one for himself. Stiles thought he heard something from outside the window, and turned to look in case his dad got home early. Stiles had no clue how he would explain him and Derek eating just made cupcakes in the kitchen at 4 am. Luckily, his dad hadn't come home early. He sudenly felt a hand on his hip, and turned around to see Derek standing really close and looking down at him. Stiles swallowed. No way in hell Derek wouldn't notice how much his heart picked up it's pace. And sure enough, Derek smirked and confirmed it. He moved even closer. Stiles wasn't used to have hot guys this close to him, at least not like this, and he didn't really know what to do.

That was, until Derek leant in and pressed his lips against Stiles'. Stiles had some serious trouble processing what had just happened, and it took a few seconds before he realized that _Derek Hale was actually kissing him_ and kissed back. Derek's lips were surprisingly soft, much softer than Stiles' own. Derek moved slowly, probably having in mind how unexperienced Stiles was. It was really sweet and all that, but Stiles wouldn't have it. His first kiss with Derek was not going to be just soft pecks. Stiles moved his arms up and put them around Derek's neck and nibbled a bit on his lower lip. Derek let out a surprised noise, but didn't seem to have anything against it. In fact, he actually gripped Stiles' hips a bit harder and pulled him even closer. They went back to the soft pecks briefly, before Derek licked Stiles' lower lip, asking for entrance. Stiles was _so_ not going to refuse Derek, so he opened his mouth to let him in. Derek started mapping Stiles' mouth with his tounge, and Stiles groaned in the back of his throat. Derek gripped his hips even tighter and lifted him up on the countertop. Now Stiles was higher up than Derek, so Derek turned his face upwards and continued. Stiles decided to try his own luck a bit. He stuck his own tounge into Derek's mouth, and he noticed that Derek, behind the cupcake, tasted like coffee. They continued to make out, and when they broke apart they were both breathing heavily. Derek's lips were red from kissing and his cheeks flushed. Stiles decided that it was a really good look on him. Stiles was just about to lean in again, when his own body ruined the moment, and he yawned. 

Derek laughed and Stiles cursed himself. Derek looked at him with a smile.

"Time to sleep." he announced, and Stiles groaned in complaint. Derek chuckled and stretched his hand out for Stiles to take. Stiles did, and Derek dragged him down from the counter and led the way upstairs. Stiles followed him, and when they got into his room Derek let go to find some clothes to sleep in. Stiles changed into his pajamas and then they crawled into bed. Now Stiles started to feel tired and he snuggled closer to Derek. Derek put his arm around Stiles' waist and Stiles had his arms pressed between his own and Derek's chest and he bored his nose into the crook of Derek's neck. Then he fell asleep almost instantly.

**************

"Good morning."

Stiles woke up, still snuggled up close to Derek. He turned his head around to see his dad leaning aginst the doorframe with an eyebrow raised. Stiles groaned and turned his face back to Derek's chest. He didn't need to look to know that Derek was awake too. His dad chuckled.

"Had a movie night again? Just don't do anything I wouldn't approve of." he joked and then left the room. Stiles sighed heavily as Derek laughed and kissed the top of his head.


	6. Birthday!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... you guys wanted an epilouge-ish thingy, and I finally got around to write it! I hope you like it ^^

Stiles was woken up by a knock on his bedroom door. He sat up and rubbed his eyes with a yawn. Waking him up on a Saturday should be illegal. He was a teenager, and he needed every minute of sleep he could get. Especially since he spent a lot of time during the nights looking after furries who would have died long ago without his help. He opened one of his eyes, and spotted his dad in the doorway. And his dad was carrying a mountain of waffles. Stiles decided to let it slip just this once and yawned again.

"Mornin', Dad." he said and scratched his neck. His dad smiled and stepped inside his room. He put the waffles down on the bedside table, and then looked around the room.

"Where's Derek? He was here last night, wasn't he?" he asked with a confused look. Stiles actually had to think for a bit. He couldn't even think of what the date was. The date...? It was April 8th! His birthday! _Well... That explains the waffles._

"he went back to the loft after a while. He's coming around with the rest of the pack later." Stiles said, as he now remembered. His dad nodded with a smile, and then turned more serious.

"Stiles..." he said, but Stiles already knew what he was about to say. He was wearing his uniform, after all.

"It's fine, dad. I can handle myself. You go do your work-stuff. Just bring me some curly fries when you get back." Stiles said, and clapped his dad's shoulder before standing up to look for some wearable clothes. His dad made his way towards the door.

"Got it. Anything else?" he asked, and when Stiles shook his head, he disappeared down the stairs. Stiles yawned once again, and just grabbed one of the shirt in the wardrobe. If it was in the wardrobe, it couldn't be too bad. He sat back on the bed, and picked his laptop up from the floor. While he waited for an episode of Game of Thrones to load, he grabbed the waffles and sat back in a more comfortable position. It was still two more hours until the pack was said to arrive. He smiled to himself. Today felt like it was going to be a great day.

**************

The doorbell rang, and Stiles looked at the clock. He sighed and left his position on the bed. Of course they would come half an hour earlier. He stretched, and almost blacked out from standing up to quickly. He went down the stairs, his annoyance over the early arrival completely gone. He opened the door, and barely caught a glimpse of his friends before they were blocked by strawberry-blonde hair as Lydia hugged him.

"Happy Birthday!" she exclaimed before letting go and taking a step back. Stiles stepped out of the way to let them all in, and they all smiled as they stepped inside. Then Scott eyed him with a confused look, and Stiles looked down. Crap. He'd accidentally taken one of Derek's shirts this morning. He and Derek hadn't told the pack anything about their relationship, but it seemed like they had to now. Stiles couldn't think of a lie good enough to get them out of this one.

"Isn't that Derek's shirt?" Scott asked, and Stiles shrugged. Derek gave him a look, as if to say "now you've screwed up. Big time." Stiles couldn't more than agree.

"Guess I was too tired to look properly this morning. I grabbed the first clean thing I could find." he muttered, and saw Derek roll his eyes before he looked at the floor. There was a moment of silence, and Stiles could feel his face going red.

"You owe me 20 bucks, Isaac." Lydia finally said and walked towards the living room. Stiles followed her closely.

"What?" he asked, and she flashed him a smile.

"Me and Isaac made a bet wether it was one-sided pining or if it was mutual." she replied and sat down on the sofa. Stiles glared at her.

"You don't bet on your friends like that. Especially not the friend who's saved all your asses. Especially not without giving him some of the money." he muttered, mostly jokingly. She rolled her eyes at him, but with a huge smile that lessened the blow. Stiles turned to Scott, who still looked confused. Stiles figured that 'confused' was a part of Scott's personality description by now. 

"How does that even work? Aren't you supposed to like... hate each other or something?" he asked, and Stiles couldn't help but laugh at how adorable Scott could be when he didn't understand something.

"Constantly working together to survive tend to change how you look at people." Derek said from the doorway, with a slight tug at the corner of his mouth. Stiles put an arm around Scott's shoulders and steered him toward the kitchen.

"C'mon, Scotty! Time for cake!" he exclaimed, and declared the discussion about him and Derek to be over. Scott was kind enough to help Stiles carry plates and cake to the living room. Stiles had made the cake yesterday, following one of his mom's recipes, and he was pretty proud of it. They made him take the first piece, as it was his birthday. When everyone had a piece, they simply sat back and talked. Now they all had recovered more, so they told Kira all the stories about Allison they could think of. Stiles smiled to himself. Everything was getting better again.

**************

Stiles had gotten a text from his dad about half an hour ago that he would be late, and that Stiles would get those curly fries tomorrow. So just now Scott and Isaac returned back to the Stilinski House with pizza for the whole pack. 

"The food has arrived!" Isaac announced as he closed the door. Stiles moved from the sofa to help them out, and soon they were all sat around Ender's Game with one pizza each. About half the movie went, without much talking, so Stiles wasn't surprised when Scott couldn't keep quiet any longer.

"So... When did you change your mind about Derek?" he asked, and Stiles sat back with a sigh. He knew this would come sooner or later.

"When I started seeing him a bit more and discovered that he might actually not be just a creep who lives in the loneliest places ever and growls at everything that moves." he said, holding on to the last bit of hope he had that he wouldn't need to tell them everything. He figured, if he told Scott, he might as well tell the others while he's at it.

"I'm flattered." Derek commented before stuffing his mouth with more pizza. Stiles rolled his eyes at him. Scott frowned a tiny bit.

"When and why did you start just randomly hanging out with Derek? Doesn't seem like you." he said, and Stiles' brain worked hard on what he should tell them. He still wasn't sure how they would all react. He saw Derek looking at him with concern. Stiles tried to force a smile at him, but Derek simply took Stiles' hand and moved his thumb over it in a calming pattern, showing his support. Stiles took a deep breath. He might as well tell them now.

"Well... I didn't really feel well after the whole Nogitsune thing. I know none of us did. That's why I never told any of you. You had enough to deal with on your own. I had a few panic attacks every day, and got at most about an hour of sleep every night, often less. I hid it from you all, and my dad. Derek checked on us all every night, to make sure nothing happened. He stopped by quickly and talked one night when I was up, and then the next night he came by right when I had an attack. After that he kept an eye on me, and started to stay overnight more and more. And yeah. That's about it." Stiles said. He didn't want to give them too much details. He felt like the weight of the whole world had been lifted off his shoulders, and he leaned against Derek. Now all his friends looked at him with concern, the movie completely forgotten.

"You're better now?" Kira asked. _Bless her._ Stiles nodded.

"Yeah. It helped to have someone to wake me up when I had nightmares and all that stuff." he said, and she smiled at him. Isaac didn't, though.

"Why didn't you tell us?" he asked, and Lydia and Scott nodded. Stiles smiled slightly, but he was sure they didn't notice.

"Like I told you: you had enough to deal with on your own, with Allison and everything. I didn't want to burden you further." he said, and Isaac and Lydia nodded. Scott didn't look too happy, though.

"I'm sorry, Stiles. I should've noticed." he muttered, and Stiles grinned at him.

"It's fine. I'm not dead, and that's actually great considering our lifestyle." he joked, and finally got a smile from Scott.

"Fair point. Just tell us next time, if there is one. Alright?" he said, and Stiles nodded.

"Thanks. Now, can we get back to the movie? We're almost at my favorite part." he said, and the others got the hint. Stiles wasn't overly fond of conversation like this, but now it was done and everything was fine. He leaned even more on Derek now, And Derek rested his head on top of Stiles'. Stiles smiled a tiny bit. Today had been a great birthday.

**************

Stiles crawled into bed next to Derek. The other had gone home by now, and sheriff still wasn't home. Stiles snuggled as close to Derek as he could, and Derek put his arms around him.

"You did good." he said, and Stiles smiled. It felt good to finally have told them. And they had taken it well. They hadn't said anything more about it, but when they left he'd gotten an extra tight hug from all of them. Even Isaac.

Derek kissed the top of his head, and Stiles closed his eyes. This was the true definition of 'pack'. Safety. The feeling of trust, and knowing that the others always had your back. He smiled, and felt a wave of tiredness come over him. He fell asleep smiling, and hoped that he would do that for a long time in the future.


End file.
